Getting to know me...

Hello, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Dessie.  I am 28 years old, I am happily married to James and have been for the past five and half years, and I have a five year old little boy named Ethan.  I live in a small rural town, on the Eastern Shore of Va. Before we moved to the Eastern Shore, we lived in Norfolk, where there was shopping malls, places to eat; other than McDonald's, or Hardee's.  Here on the Shore there isn't really anything around to do or see unless you like to fish, and believe me I am not the type of girl who likes to fish.  To me fishing is casting the line and letting my husband bait the hook and if I am lucky enough to catch anything take it off for me.  At first I didn't mind not having anything to do because I had a newborn and we were just getting to know each other.  Well, five years latter I mind!  I am originally from Jersey, and I miss the mall, I miss going to a theater, I miss just about everything.  If I want to go to a mall I have to drive over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel, which costs $17.00 if I come back within 24 hours, or drive two hours north to Maryland.  Don't get me wrong, it's a good place to raise a child, or so far it is.  James has the best job he has ever had and that's the reason we're still here, other wise I would have high tailed it out of here before now.

     I am starting this blog as a cheap therapist.  I have recently had a miscarriage, and it changed my perspective on life. It forced me to think about things that I have just either ignored or have chosen not to see.  For instance, Ethan has been having a hard time at school, not academically but his behavior is awful.  I have been in to talk to his teacher countless times, and nothing we have tried has fixed the problem.  I am just now realizing that he just may be acting out so that he gets attention at home.  I work nights so on the nights that I work I only see him for about two hours, and James well he's not really a hands on kinda dad.  I know he loves Ethan and all that good stuff, but he just isn't there unless it's to yell.  My grandmother makes sure that he gets to bed on time, and that he gets on the bus on time and that he has had a bath and well, you get the picture.  I am not trying to put James down, he just doesn't know how to be there, from my understanding James's dad wasn't there for him.  

     Actually if I think about it working nights is also putting a major strain on my marriage.  When I work I see James for about an hour then I'm out the door.  Before I worked nights I had the energy to cook every night, make sure the house was clean, laundry was done and things of that nature, now I just want to sleep when I am home.  Someone told me that working nights means that you have 20% less energy.  I believe it, you can't really sleep during the day because you know there is so much that you have to get done when you wake up before you have to run out the door again.  I am kicking around the idea of not working nights, but I make more money on nights, so I'm not sure yet. 

     Well, now that I have rambled on for so long, I want to give you an idea of what is to come...more rambling I'm sure, I want to find ways to save money, so that we might be able to make it on one income, so I will be sharing anything I find, I want to get back to God, so I will be sharing my journey, and well just the general day to day.